(Yet another time in my life when I was extremely depressed and had a morbid desire to die in a rather cruel way.)

Shall I die an exceedingly painful death? I sincerely pray that it does indeed comes to past in the not too distant future, for no one is so deserving of such a sinister fate but myself. A merciless ceasing of this life is what I dream about and constantly desire. The more pain bestowed upon me the better, for a useless form of flesh such as this need not die peacefully, because in glorious anguish must I expire, by the most torturous path misery can take! Render unto me excruciating pain and suffering, in the much anticipated and truly desired prelude to dying violently! Make it last for seemingly an eternity, if such a thing be possible because until that day dawns, restless shall I be for a barbaric ceasing of my utterly worthless life. May the truly horrific end happen shortly, for I cannot wait much longer for the final breath to at last exit this wretched and undeniably miserable body.