Soul Searching - Nyghtwolfe rediscovers herself.
Category: Uncategorized

The castle had lost its atmospheric charm.   It had become a prison of isolation and endless silence for the Dark goddess.  Its cold stone walls echoed her lonely footsteps as she walked from room to room without a purpose.   In years gone by, Nyghtwolfe had grown weary of the chaos and disruptive noise of children.  The last two adopted children were nothing more than exasperating drama.  It had gotten crazy to the point of the Empress neglecting her own needs for the constant sake of everyone else’s. After their children were all grown up and the grandchildren no longer came for a visit, thusly she declared with a steadfast finality that her babysitting days were over.  In the early beginning, this freedom from maternal responsibility had delighted her.   She had reveled in the quietude of retirement, but now it began to burden her heart and was slowly killing her soul.    A gray cloud had settled over her mood.  She lost interest in even brushing her silky black hair and rarely bothered to change clothes, wearing always the same pajamas.

Misos was always too busy training or fighting for Club Scarab to notice the slow growing discontent of his wife.  They stopped talking to each other during the daylight hours, for there was never anything new or exciting to discuss.   Even though she knew without a doubt that he still loved her, the fires of their marriage had simmered down to daily routine; a morning kiss before he left the castle to further abuse his body in training and, after a steamy hot bath to sooth his aching muscles, a fondling hug at bedtime.  Sexual coupling had also become much too routine, even as marvelous as it still was.   Nyghtwolfe hungered for the spontaneity of doing something completely different in her life. She had gotten bored with the mundane existence of being an obedient and supportive wife that never complains, and yet everything that used to make her happy was now just the same ol’, same ol’ bleh. 

One morning she woke up and turned her face to the empty side of their bed where Misos had lain the night.  His manly scent lingered on his pillow.  She knew he was outside somewhere, training for his next big arena fight.  Tucking her knees up and hugging herself for comfort, her thoughts were a mixed jumble of sadness and the guilt of not feeling happy when she had everything in life that she could possibly want.  But yet something was missing, and this ‘something missing’ was elusive to her knowing what exactly it was.    She then decided to go for a very long walk and rethink her life.  Nyghtwolfe packed up a travel bag with the basic necessities, a few warm clothes, and a thick cozy blanket, and without a parting word of goodbye to her husband, walked out of the house and into the dense forest.  

Here in the solitude of nature, her turbulent mind felt at peace.  As she walked on and on, without a destination, the shameful memories of her childhood came back to haunt her.   Zeus had never forgiven her for being a reckless young lady.  He had not approved of her marriage, nor was he proud of the accomplishments that she had done.  Throughout her entire lifetime, she had not needed his approval before. This was odd that now she should care about having it.   It was one of the many gray areas of her life that was buried in the past, unresolved.  Gritting her fangs, she made that her 1st pledge, “I am coming to see you, my Father”, she announced aloud to the trees that bore witness to her passing.  However before ultimately reuniting with her father, Nyghtwolfe would evaluate her life in a soul search quest.  She would face her own inmost self with courage and determined; to bring every clandestine thought, repressed emotion, and ulterior motive to light.  

Mount Oympus was a very long way from Atlantis.  Yet in order for the trek to be truly worthy of Zeus, she would travel without luxury, and without the use of magic.  She boarded a cargo barge that was enroute to the mainland of Europe and paid the fare of coins for its meager accommodations.  The ship’s crew, being vaguely familiar with the Empress, were surprised at the simplistic manner in which she now chose to travel.  Her elegant presence was regarded as a great honor among the rough and rugged crewmen.  Although they tried to pamper her with their attentiveness, she waved them away in refusal.  She did not want special treatment. It would undermine the challenge that she had set for herself.  In order to better fit in, she requested clothing befit a sailor.  She would also volunteer to do an equal share of work-duty aboard the barge. 

The crewmen laughed but welcomed her amiably among themselves.  The quartermaster gave her assignments that were less important to the overall function of the barge; such as mending and washing their laundry, and assisting the cook with the preparation of meals.  It was all humbling work to her; but to be that of equals among her peers, did indeed help to lessen her own rigid expectations of herself.   Many days and nights they voyaged across open waters until the coastline was spotted in the far distance.  Again Nyghtwolfe spoke aloud in confirmation of her goal, this time to the rolling waves that licked the hull of the barge, "The greatest evil in the world is self-deception, because self-deception preys on the troubled soul.   My immortal soul weeps for something not yet realized, and by suppressing its misery to fake a life of happiness, I am deceiving myself."

Back to Blog List